Is This the End of Zombie Xbox?!

Atari and Bubsy, a match made in... uh, what's
slightly less severe than Hell? No, purgatory
is too cushy. How about a match made in
New Jersey?
(image from AtariAge)

Just a quick update. Atari has gotten increasingly aggressive about its IP acquisitions... it recently bought Accolade, creators of the annoyingly omnipresent Bubsy series. So we'll be stuck with the quipping furball for at least another twenty or thirty years. Everybody thank Atari, now! You all know which finger to use.

One acquisition of damaged goods Atari might want to consider in the future is Microsoft's Xbox division, because things haven't been going too well for it lately. Xbox CEO Phil Spencer (in the middle of his awkward transition from dudebro to dadbod) has openly admitted that the brand isn't performing to expectations, with sales of the stupidly named Xbox Series dragging well behind those of its competitor the Playstation 5. 

Well, let's look at how things currently stand for the Xbox brand. Redfall was a critical flop, the planned Activision merger seems to have cratered, Microsoft is selling games on rival consoles, the low-spec Xbox Series S is being sold at a hefty discount to Verizon phone service subscribers when it's not given away outright... I guess Phil is just admitting what we can all see with our eyes.

Perhaps I'm potentially being too pessimistic and presumptuous (wipes spittle off his screen), but if we've reached the end of the line for the Xbox brand, I have one simple request... give us one last firmware update that gives us back User Window Programs! I could easily see using my Xbox Series S for at least another decade if I could use it as a cheap emulation box. 

(...at the very least, don't take away Dev Mode, because I paid for that crap. Once I've put money on something, it's mine. You'll have to dig up my coffin and pry it loose from my corpse's calcified clutches.)