Cream of the Crap: The Data Frog SF 2000

Like Big the Cat, this Froggy is slow and simple,
but strangely endearing.
(image from NME. I don't recommend shopping
for minions at this place, by the way.
Total thumbs down, F---.)

The Data Frog SF 2000 is an impossibly cheap handheld game system sold on AliExpress, which you probably already heard about elsewhere. It's also not very good, as you probably already guessed from the price. Here's the thing, though... for its price, it might be just good enough.

Let me provide some context here. I've been involved in gaming for quite a while, at least forty years by my estimation, and I have seen some handhelds. Handhelds with smeary black and white displays, handhelds you can't see at all without standing directly in front of Green Lantern's lantern, handhelds that burn through batteries in a couple of hours, handhelds with miserably small software libraries... and every single one of them cost way more than the SF 2000 does.

Frankly, handheld gaming was a little crap until the Game Boy Advance SP shed some much needed (front)light on the subject. If the SF 2000 is what passes for crap twenty years later, it's clear that handheld technology has made colossal leaps and bounds in that span of time. You're getting a full color screen at 240p resolution, an analog thumbstick, a rechargeable battery, and thousands of games spread across multiple systems. Do you know what you could get for $19.99 back in the 1990s? Allow me to show you!

It never fails to infuriate me when that hand throws a Super Nintendo cartridge in the trash. At least it wasn't Space Megaforce... then I'd have to take a hostage.

Where was I? The commercial says it all... the Pro 200 is a handheld that plays eighty variations of legally-distinct-from-Tetris and other insultingly simple diversions, presented with the blandest, most all-purpose graphics you've ever seen in a video game. Watch with bemusement as a cluster of blocks that vaguely resembles a race car weaves through blocky traffic! Gasp in dismay when you realize every game uses the same set of blocks, making even the Odyssey2 and its army of white robots look versatile by comparison! Reach for the phone to call your bank and ask them to reverse the charges on this purchase!

You just can't
beat this price on
a handheld game
system, at least
without a five
finger discount.

It's got a buttload of flaws (you guys seriously made a handheld that looks like a Super Nintendo controller but can't handle most Super Nintendo games?), but I can't bring myself to hate the SF 2000. It's not only leagues better than el cheapo handhelds from the 20th century, but it's superior to other twenty dollar portables available now. Stop by a Five Below if you happen to have one nearby and grab yourself one of their handhelds. You'll be getting a Famiclone with a mealy looking screen and hundreds of NES games, ranging from old favorites with the serial numbers scratched off to new titles seemingly designed at gunpoint. If you don't like playing them, you can always take solace in the fact that the designers didn't like making them, either.

The SF 2000 is better than that. It's better than the Game Gear clone AtGames sold in dollar stores, it's better than many of the other handhelds AliExpress sells at cutthroat prices, and it's certainly better than Tiger's LCD handhelds, which recently made a puzzling comeback. The SF 2000 plays roughly half of its thousands of games pretty well, with the Neo-Geo and CPS2 being standouts. It's possible to add even more games, but it's going to be hard to find anything missing from the system's immense library. The control is adequate, with a lackluster D-pad but an analog stick that works wonders in fighting games. The NES, Genesis, and two flavors of Game Boy run perfectly well, although you'll want to run this script to smooth out the kinks in the key mapping. Nobody should ever have to jump with a shoulder button... that's just inhuman.

What else? Hackers have already made in-roads to making the SF 2000 a better experience, and its mass adoption coupled with newly discovered information about its processor suggests that a custom firmware (with support for more systems and better emulation for the handful available) could be possible. Even if that doesn't happen, you're still getting decent emulation of NES, Genesis, and yes, even Capcom arcade games, and you're getting all that for twenty dollars. It's not hard to find better handhelds than the SF 2000, but good luck finding one cheaper.