Friday, January 26, 2024

Just for the record...

 

Imagine dragons. With Swedish accents.
(from Fandom. Skyrim's fandom, I guess.)




I know video games don't come with instruction manuals anymore (hell, if the rumors are true, video games won't have physical anything in another year...), but I've been playing Skyrim on the Switch, and that game is too damn meaty to not have one. I feel like it should have come with an operator's guide thick enough to be in Knight Rider's glove compartment. Mechanically, this game is as encumbered as your character will be after picking up everything you see on your Nordic-tracked adventures. "Troll fat? Sure, you never know when you'll need it. Wouldn't want to be left empty-handed at a sudden troll barbecue."

I'm enjoying it, though. I'm enjoying it a lot more for the ten dollars I paid at a pawn shop than I would have if I paid the full retail price of sixty bucks. For Skyrim. Yes, it's a good game with nearly infinite playability, and it suffers very little from the problems that often plague demanding titles on the Switch (see also Mortal Kombat 1 and that Batman Arkham collection), but dude, it's thirteen years old. Damn, Bethesda, stop milking it. And don't make me pay no sixteen dollars- the sale price!- for the Anniversary Edition that steps up the graphics. It's a Switch. Half the caves are too dark to see anything. I'm not slipping you sixteen skins for high-definition cave darkness.