|The platforming... could be worse.|
Really, it's theoretically possible.
|A face even a mother would love |
to punch into mush.
So everything you've heard about Bubsy 3D is true. It really is awful; just not for the reasons you were expecting. I could forgive the limitations of mid 1990s technology and the flaws in a genre of games that weren't properly addressed until Super Mario 64 and Spyro the Dragon were released a year later. It's Bubsy himself who ruins this release, with a forced, creaky sense of humor that's too little to entertain and fifty years too late to be relevant. There's a rumor that Bubsy is planning a comeback for 2016... one can only hope he brings new material with him.
Special thanks to Stranno, whose Bubsy 3D playthrough on YouTube provided the images for this blog entry.