That's Like a Baby's Toy!

Ladies. Gentlemen. Smizmars. I apologize for my protracted absence. I was distracted by Torchlight, the Diablo-like that was on sale for a couple of dollars during Microsoft's Ultimate Xbox sale a few weeks ago. I wouldn't call it a "game" so much as an unhealthy compulsion, where you spend a lot of time getting nothing done. It's like picking at a scab, or binge-watching a Netflix series you had no particular interest in because you couldn't think of anything better to do with your time. You kill a bunch of monsters that present no real threat to you, loot their corpses for better weapons and armor, find the entrance to the next level, and repeat until you wake up with drool all over your controller. It's a good way to get in touch with your inner zombie.

When I wasn't staring at the television set with my eyes rolled into the back of my head, I was working on my Super NES, trying to cure its Mode 7 dysfunction. Unfortunately, there's no easy fix for this... the motherboard looks just fine, so I have to assume the graphics chips have sustained internal damage. They'll have to be replaced completely, which isn't so easy when you consider that they're both surface mounted and custom designed. Realistically, my only options will be to either get another Super Nintendo or just settle for screens like this...

By the way, that's from 2020 Super Baseball, a sports title set in the far-flung future of... two years from now. Now I see why Capcom used the date 20XX for many of their games... it ages better.

There's one other thing I should mention. A couple of months ago, I dug through the tubs of the Goodwill outlet store in Nogales and came up with this joystick, separated from a V-Smile game console.

image from Amazon

I've been toying around with the thought of making this toy a full-fledged game controller. It's kind of a clever design, with a paw-shaped button layout and a joystick that accepts three strengths of input from all directions. It wouldn't work well for most modern video games, but it could be useful for shoot 'em ups, beat 'em ups... pretty much all the verb 'em ups from the 1980s and 1990s.

I wouldn't be the first person to attempt a hack of the V-Smile controller, either. Here's a guy who nicked one of these joysticks from his kids after their V-Smile broke, stuffed a cheap USB pad into the case, and turned it into an input device for his Raspberry Pi. I wouldn't trust it to win any tournaments, but it could be a fun new way to play games that have lost their flavor. That button layout would be perfect for Radiant Silvergun!