Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Fourth Time's The Charm?

From the makers of the Nintendo 3DS... and the Nintendo 3DS XL... and the Nintendo 2DS... it's the brand new Nintendo 3DS FX-U! This latest model of the popular handheld includes a faster processor that delivers astonishing special effects, just for you! 

Want the second analog stick the system probably should have had in the first place? FX-U! Want to play great games like Xenoblade Chronicles that were almost impossible to find on the Wii? FX-U! Craving 3D you can see without being completely motionless? FX-U! Interested in our upcoming Skylanders rip-off Amiibo figurines? FX-U! That's right, all these features and more will only be available in the new Nintendo 3DS FX-U, coming in 2015 to obsolete the system you bought last week! 

Why yes, I AM annoyed by Nintendo's latest game system! Other players are excited about the New 3DS, perhaps mesmerized by that new toy smell. Personally speaking, I've never been fond of stopgap consoles like this one. I didn't appreciate the Sega CD, was enraged by the 32X, and felt that the Game Boy Color was a cop-out, mercifully retired by the far more impressive Game Boy Advance just a few years later. 

Maybe Nintendo is feeling the pinch of the 3DS's admittedly wimpy processor and wants to close the technology gap between it and the Vita. That battle's already been fought and won, though... the Vita is no longer a threat to the 3DS even in its current form. Besides, the system is already capable of great things even without the speed boost. Have you seen Super Street Fighter IV or Kid Icarus Uprising? I'm just not sure it's necessary for Nintendo to drive a wedge in the 3DS user base by releasing yearly hardware updates and designing software that will only work with the current year's model. This isn't Apple we're talking about... although lately, you wouldn't know it from looking.

Three 3DS models were plenty, Nintendo. You should wait for the system's true successor for any significant improvements.

1 comment:

  1. I can understand being annoyed by such releases, Jess, but as was the case with the other, similar instances you point out here (the Sega CD, the 32X), you really aren't going to have to pick up a "new" 3DS if you don't want to. I mean, OK, you may miss out on the somewhat-awful-looking Xenoblade port and a small handful of other n3DS-only titles, and you won't be able to make use of the n3DS' faster download speeds (whoopdidoo!), but that's about it. Unless you really want those interchangeable face plates, of course. (And I may get one just for them--no joke. But I doubt that surprises you!)