The Xbox Series is the worst name ever given to a video game console. It is and shall remain unparalleled in its utter craptitude for many years to come.
Look, I've been playing video games for a while, and I've heard all the dumb console names. The Gamate. The Wonderswan. The FM Towns Marty. The Pippen. None of these are brilliant, but the Xbox Series does the customer the added disservice of naming itself after a quantity of products, without telling you what that product is, or which product in the series it is.
Microsoft tried to give the Series an air of sophistication and enticing mystery, while just confusing the hell out of their target audience. It's like one of those damn Avant Garde commercials from the 1980s, which presents an avalanche of cryptic visual information to the viewer without explaining how any of it ties together. You think you're so clever, but my good sir, you've only outsmarted yourself!
You're going to have to give us just a bit more insight about your product than this, Microsoft. Can I buy a vowel or something? I just want to know what you're selling, because when you name it the Series, it could be anything in the upper-middle price range. An electric car! A premium razor blade! A whiskey that goes down smooth! But a video game system? In particular, the cheapest next generation video game system you can currently buy?
I don't get it. This thing plays Pac-Man and several varieties of game where the world's sexiest swamp creature battles a Frankenstein's monster, named Victor just to twist the nipples of pedants. This is not a damn Lexus.
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