Nintend-no

We finally know the price of Nintendo's extended online service. You'll get access to Sega Genesis and Nintendo 64 games, and some DLC for your copy of Animal Crossing, alongside the expected option to challenge your friends across the world in Nintendo games, for the yearly sum of... fifty dollars. That's more than double the price of the standard Nintendo online service, for Genesis games you've doubtlessly already purchased elsewhere, a handful of games for one of Nintendo's least memorable systems, and extra content for a Switch game you might not even have. Sorry, that a "no" from me, dawg.

Nintendo's defenders are already coming out of the woodwork, saying "Oh, it really doesn't cost THAT much!" Well, if you can squeeze that extra expense into your budget, fine, but my money is already stretched pretty thin, as this comic from Andrew W. Dickman illustrates...

stop complaining, it's not that much pic.twitter.com/StRjaGgLoi

— And-boo! D💜C (@AWDtwit) October 15, 2021

The Robot Master designed during Dr. Wiley's bi-curious years is right... you've only got so much disposable income available to you each month, and there are so many subscription services available that you've got to make difficult choices to ensure you're getting the maximum entertainment for your dollar. 

However, Nintendo's deluxe online service offers so little bang for the buck that it's not a tough decision at all. Amazon Prime gets me free shipping on purchases and a modest video streaming service. Paramount Plus offers a steady drip of The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal, along with the occasional hit of nostalgia from Nickelodeon cartoons. Xbox Ultimate Game Pass grants access to a hundred recent games, along with the option to play them online. 

What does Nintendo's premium subscription service give me? Considering the bottom-scraping quality of the company's online services, and the fact that you can find most of its included Genesis games on practically every 21st century format in existence, not very damn much.