You'll Be Rooked by the Brothers

Oh man, there's some recent news about a Switch game that I've just got to report! That's right, Pix the Cat is being sold for just ninety-nine cents until the 14th of September! If you're a fan of Pac-Man, Snake, puzzle games, or sleek blue-tinted neon graphics, it's definitely something you'll want in your collection.

Wait, no, there was something else. Nintendo is celebrating the 35th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. by offering a collection of 3D games in the franchise. Except the games are only modestly enhanced from the originals on the Nintendo 64, GameCube, and Wii. And you won't get Super Mario Galaxy 2, regarded as a high point in the often disappointing Wii library. And, uh, it's only going to be available until March of the following year? 

That's right, Super Mario All-Stars 3D will be a limited edition release, despite being sold in both digital and physical forms. What the heck is accomplished by doing this, aside from sowing customer resentment? I mean, they might force some gamers into making the purchase early, but I have to believe that selling a product for several years would be preferable to turning off the tap and covering it with cement after six months.

Image from Nintendo Life

The news that piqued my interest was the announcement of a Game and Watch that plays Super Mario Bros. Like, the full-fledged NES game, squeezed into the same credit card form factor as much simpler G&W titles like Ball (which this system also plays). Is it kind of pointless? Yes, but it looks a lot more high class than Sega's miniature Game Gear thanks to that shiny brass front plate, to say nothing of more comfortable to hold.

I'm almost jealous, because this is what passed for a Super Mario Bros. Game and Watch back in 1989, when I was a teenager...

Image from Worthpoint

I mean, it was recognizable as Super Mario Bros., but I'd describe it as a demake... the blocks were reduced to segmented lines, Mario choppily jumped from one point on the screen to the next, and power ups were largely absent... I think there was a 1UP and a star, and that was pretty much it. It got the job done thirty years ago, but I suspect this new model will be a lot more satisfying.

What else did Nintendo announce... an augmented reality Super Mario Kart game with real RC cars? Feh! How the hell am I going to play that in a trailer? I mean, that might work for the average house, but a track in here is going to make Baby Park look like the Paris to Dakar rally. I'll be sitting that one out.