Product Does Not Convert

Years ago, I found something peculiar in the toy aisle of a department store... a Transformers action figure designed to promote one of the films by director and pyrotechnics enthusiast Michael Bay. That wasn't unexpected, but the fine print squeezed into the corner of the box was. It warned potential purchasers that the "product does not convert," which misses the point of the whole enterprise.

"But I have AM and FM radio!"
(image from Previews World)

I haven't followed the Transformers franchise since Beast Wars was cancelled twenty years ago, and I've went to great lengths to avoid the aforementioned films, watching Bumblebee only after I was assured that Michael Bay had little creative involvement. But y'know, I did used to play with these toys when I was a kid, and I take umbrage at the notion of a Transformers toy that doesn't transform. They're Transformers. It's what they do. It's in their name.

Eurrgh. Maybe they should switch to better colors.
(image from Nintendo)

Years later, Nintendo has followed in the footsteps of Hasbro, bringing the world a Switch that doesn't actually switch. The Switch Lite, due in late September and available in a limited variety of ugly colors, merges the screen and Joycons together for a singularly focused handheld akin to the Playstation Vita or Game Boy Advance. It can't connect to your television set, and it can't play 1-2 Switch out of the box, in case you weren't already tired of that.

Thanks to a drastically reduced price ($200 versus the $300 for the original model), I could see a market for the Switch Mini. Hell, I would be that market if it weren't for Nintendo shuttering Miiverse two years ago. Nevertheless, it seems weird to call this a Switch when it doesn't.