Apple for the Kvetcher

Yes, that's Yiddish for "complainer." No, I'm not the slightest bit Jewish, but it's a fun language. You'd think the community that gave us Yiddish and Albert Einstein and Einstein Brothers bagels and The Three Stooges would get a little more respect from the rest of us, but nope, you still hear about synagogue shootings every couple of months. Frankly, it kind of blows.

That's off topic, though. A few days ago, I bought a fourth generation iPod Touch from Goodwill's auction site. It's supposed to arrive in the afternoon, and while it's grossly outclassed by my current Android phone, I'm still looking forward to getting it. Why? Well, I originally owned the first iPod Touch, and there was a lot of software that just wouldn't work with that system. Android casts a fairly wide net with its own cross-device compatibility, but things work differently on iOS. Once a new generation of iPods is released, the previous generation is forsaken by developers.

That would include the fourth generation iPod Touch, of course... it's nine years old, and was disowned by Apple six years ago. However, there were a lot of games that I owned in 2011 that either didn't run well on my first iPod Touch, or didn't run at all. Pretty much everything I purchased on iTunes up to when I switched to an Android device in 2012 should function. That includes both games that never made the jump to Android (Street Fighter IV Volt) and ones that look and play better on iOS (Forget-Me-Not).

Even if I can't get my old library of games on this iPod Touch (I don't know if I remember my iTunes password or even what E-mail address I used; it's been a really, REALLY long time), I can still use it as a music player. Even the crusty first model was pretty good at music playback, and I imagine the experience will be that much better with a built in speaker and a high resolution display. Also, since it's an earlier model, I don't have to futz around with a Lightning cable or worry about iCloud locking me out of my own system. The Apple Store won't unlock it unless you've got a receipt, and somehow I doubt they're going to accept a proof of purchase from Goodwill.

Not shown: hundreds of deer eager to be
crushed by your station wagon.

Speaking of mobile technology, I managed to get Playstation Mobile working again on my Vita, granting me access to its modest library of simple but creative games. Games like Oh, Deer! Alpha, which combines OutRun with the distinctly Midwestern experience of flattening a white tail that was too stupid to wait for your car to pass. Hermit Crab in Space, where you blast cuboid ships and add their weapons and thrusters to your own craft. Rock Boshers DX, which tries very hard to convince you that you're playing it on a ZX Spectrum. And Chaos Rings, which is... over six hundred megabytes in size. So much for keeping things simple.