Nice S!

Gosh, Lois, I sure hope so.

I decided to pick up an Xbox One S shortly before New Year's Eve. Did I need one? Not particularly, as my Playstation 4 covers most of my next generation gaming needs. But in my defense, it was one hell of a price. See, Target was running a sale a few days ago on this system, and offered an extra 30% off with its Cartwheel app. My total out the door, including sales tax? A smidge over $150, which is a lot better than the standard retail price of $279.

I found out a little later that Target wasn't supposed to stack the two discounts, which means I got extra lucky with this deal. Either that or the store just realized its mistake, and will be sending an assassin to my front door, making me a target. That's okay... I'm a man who lives dangerously. And ironically.

So with that out of the way, how 'bout some unboxing photos?

Here's the system as it arrived from Target. The Minecraft bundle wouldn't have been my first choice, but with all of the cheaper barebones systems and the more appealing Forza Horizon bundles sold out, I guess I'll have to live with poor man's Legos.

The Minecraft packaging was just a cardboard sleeve... pulling it off revealed a standard Xbox One S... uh, box. I have only a passing familiarity with some of the franchises shown here and none at all with the woman on the right side of the box, but hey, there are always third party games! Not to mention the backward compatibility with the Xbox 360 that seemed to come out of nowhere a couple of years ago. 

I take some small measure of comfort in knowing that former Microsoft spokesweasel Don Mattrick's original vision for the Xbox One has been almost completely demolished. You remember that, right? No backward compatibility, no trading games with your friends, no using the system without a preliminary rectal scan from the Kinect, etc. Fortunately, Microsoft threw Mattrick under the bus shortly before the system was released, then sped off into the sunset, never looking back at his potentially ruinous mistakes.

Opening the box gives you a glimpse of the Xbox One S and its many ports. There's one for the power supply, two HDMI ports, two USB ports (warning: less universal than advertised), an infrared jack, an S/PDIF port for optical audio, an ethernet port for wired internet connections, and a lock port for... locking the system, I guess. Well, it's there if you really think you need it.

On the front is another USB port, a power button, a tiny eject button, and an infrared receiver, which makes the infrared connector on the back seem a little extraneous. There are optional, television-style remote controls for the Xbox One, and if you plan to spend any time at all playing DVDs I suggest you get one... navigation is the farthest thing from easy with an ordinary game controller.

Here now are the instructions, printed on a folded sheet of cardboard so long I didn't have room to fit it all in one picture. Despite its daunting length, this super-sized pamphlet gets right to the point... you connect the system to your television set and a power supply, load some batteries into your controller, and you're ready to roll.

The Xbox One, freed from its box. Microsoft was kind enough to include not only a code for Minecraft, but an expansion pack, eight episodes of Telltale's Story Mode, three months of Xbox Live, and a month of Microsoft's new Game Pass service. That large chunk of Xbox Live pairs nicely with the month I purchased last week for a dollar. As for Game Pass, I doubt I'll be keeping it past the trial... it looks like it just offers a lot of Xbox 360 titles I either already have or don't want. I've owned an Xbox 360 for twelve years, after all. I've pretty much plumbed the depths of its software library.

I'll admit I got some morbid amusement from these images on the Xbox One's deadly plastic baggies. Plastic baggies: not even once.

Without further ado, here's the Xbox One S in action. Er, sort of. It's become an aggravating tradition to wait through hours of system updates and software downloads before you can even start playing your console. Hell, this thing wouldn't even play DVDs until I downloaded a software package, which seemed... unnecessary. That couldn't be included with the operating system by default? Really? All righty then.

So far, I'm satisfied with the Xbox One. I'm not thrilled with it, but I wasn't exactly jumping for joy over the Playstation 4 when I got that, so I'll give it some time to grow on me. I will say that the backward compatibility goes a long way toward improving its value and the overall experience. I also like the new Killer Instinct, which is aggressively button-mashy but at least shows more effort than Capcom put into Street Fighter V. All the characters have classic costumes (even the ones who weren't in the first two games!) and browsing through the post-fight menu plays the Killer Instinct theme, one note at a time. The game badly needs a fight stick, and those aren't readily available on the Xbox One, but I'm happy with what I've seen so far.

Now that you've seen this fabulous prize, let's see what was behind door number one!

I could have purchased this laptop at a nearby Wal-Mart for $200. However, because I couldn't find any information about it, or reviews beyond the ones on Wal-Mart's site, I left it on the shelf. That may have been a mistake. These notebooks have been snapped up by speculators across the country and sold on eBay for double the price. Beyond that, I probably needed a new laptop more than I needed an Xbox One, even if the reviews of this one's A12 processor have been less than glowing. Heh... who am I kidding, they've been savage! Yeah, I'm sticking this one in the "fox and grapes" folder.