Sunday, December 25, 2016

It Came From Miiverse! Ho in Triplicate

If you'll pardon the indulgence (and you will, because you have no choice), I thought I'd post a few of my Miiverse scribbles on Kiblitzing this Christmas, along with brief descriptions of how they came to be.

Some concerned parents (aka meddlesome busybodies) complained that the Mall of America had a black Santa Claus this year. I'm not convinced they'd be happier with the real Saint Nicholas, who looks very little like the jolly fat guy in the red suit and very much like the late horror actor Christopher Lee in Catholic murals.

Some folks at the Talking Time forum took it upon themselves to compare the arcade classic Joust to Balloon Fight, while detailing all the ways that Nintendo's knock-off was superior. They're wrong, of course. Normally I don't mind Nintendo's whimsical approach to game design, but defanging a childhood favorite by replacing the vulture-riding knights with chubby balloonists did not sit well with me. 

Akuma is coming to Street Fighter V... with a flaming red mane instead of his usual bloomin' onion haircut. By the way, I've played a little bit of Street Fighter V at a GameStop and it seems... all right, I guess. Nothing that makes me want to run out and buy a Playstation 4, but admittedly, it's fun to open up stages by throwing your opponent through barriers.

I had to make this joke. Yes, I know I should be ashamed of myself. I'm not, but I should be.

By the way, I've played Rayman Legends, and it's far better than any other game I've played in the series. Maybe a little too wacky for its own good, but there's a really well-designed platformer buried under those madcap cartoon antics and a largely superfluous cast.

Microsoft offered the first episode of Batman: The Telltale Series for free on Xbox Live, and at that price, I could hardly resist. However, after playing through the first fifteen minutes, I'm not sure it's for me. It's a more grimdark take on the franchise, with people getting shot in the head and a gravelly hero who ought to keep a few Bat-Ludens in his utility belt. I know, there's no wrong way to portray Batman, but I've gotten mighty tired of this particular interpretation of the character. Also, I was kind of hoping that the industry had moved beyond Dragon's Lair, yet its soul lives on in this game's many, many barely interactive quick time events.

Speaking of games that aren't really for me, here's my impression of Undertale. It's just what RPGs always needed... guilt! Heaven forbid I defend myself against things that are attacking me.

Okay, this one isn't all that funny, but it was a fun challenge to reproduce the light and shadow in the illustration between stages in this largely forgotten NES game. I actually owned Isolated Warrior briefly in the early 2000s. Seeing the prices it's been going for lately, I wish I'd kept it.

While I'm on the subject, what the hell is VAP? They published the game in Japan, and evidently they had something to do with the animated series Death Note as well.

I dunno, I always heard this instead of "eliminate Gadget." And you know he'd be dumb enough to actually drink it.


  1. I know I ain't gonna convince ya of Balloon Fight's merits, so I won't try again. You see it compared to Joust as I see Bravely Default compared to PSone era Square jRPGs: a cartoonish mockery of a beloved game that just feels wrong.

    Anyway, love the Telltale Batman pic and how you draw Batman. So on point.

    1. Honestly, I don't know why I was expecting something different from Batman: The Telltale Series. Batman's been in "GRR GRR" mode since what, Batman Begins? That was at least a decade ago.

      Feh, maybe I should just be happy to have something fairly new to play on my Xbox 360. (Even if there's not much to actually play.)

    2. I heard a big part of Telltale Batman's focus is that there's actually a focus on the Bruce Wayne and detective stuff in this one. Well, as much of a focus as a hella linear visual novel split across DLC chapters can have, anyway. Like, future interactions may be different depending on the choices you make, but there's only so much that can change when everybody has the same chapters.

      It'd probably hurt sales a bunch but I can't help but wonder if a Telltale adventure game created as a cohesive whole instead of split up into separate DLC chapters would be able to do a lot more with the "***** will remember that" stuff.