Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Jerk of all Trades

I've been using MAME since the old DOS days, but I've never been entirely happy with it. First, it was too sluggish on my old-ass computers. Then, someone at MAME headquarters took it upon themselves to emulate every known electronic device since the UNIVAC. That includes gadgets that couldn't possibly be reproduced on a computer, like the Skee-ball unit recovered from a recently shuttered Chuck E. Cheese. Now, MAME (the Multiple ARCADE Machine Emulator) and MESS, the console emulator, have merged, because their respective programmers have evidently been assimilated by the Borg. 

Coming soon to MAME, whether
you want it or not!
(image from Comic Vine)
I should have come out and said this a long time ago, when mechanical devices and pinball were carelessly tossed into MAME's hungry maw, but it's better late than never. Stop putting every electronic device in recorded history into MAME! Stop it, I say! This towering monument to software bloat is complicated enough without having to sift through old game consoles, business machines, Speak & Spells, 1950s science fiction robots, Soviet nuclear reactors, and digital rectal thermometers just to play a few damn games of Galaga. Nobody wants this crap. Really, ask them! Nobody's dying to try the BancTel ESeries payment processor or the DECWriter III electronic typewriter. They're in there, by the way. Heaven only knows why.

In summary: this is MAME, not Skynet. Knock it the hell off!

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