Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Old Grudges Die Hard

I was recently reminded of this excerpt from Next Generation magazine, posted on Hardcore Gaming 101's Twitter page a few weeks ago.

Note that Next Generation magazine was intended as an intelligent alternative to kid-friendly publications like GamePro and Nintendo Power. Note also how very far from intelligent the editors sound when they arrogantly dismiss shooter fans as "fogies" and use terms like "almost retarded" to describe the gameplay of G-Darius, regarded today as one of the high points of that series. This self-absorbed, technophilic propaganda was so common in Next Generation that one imagines the editors sniffing their own farts from wine goblets as they extol the virtues of cutting edge titles like, uh, Urban Decay.

"I didn't ASK to become the secretary of balloon
doggies! The balloon doggies DEMANDED it!"
(image from
I don't know where the writers of Next Generation are now... all the reviews in the magazine were written anonymously, demonstrating the foresight that the articles themselves lack. Wherever they may be, I'd like to inform them that the 2D games they worked so hard to kill have made a spectacular comeback, and cordially invite them to savor the fruit of my colon after a three course meal at the local Taco Hut.

Ah, that felt good. Speaking of Hardcore Gaming 101, I'd like to thank editor Kurt Kalata for telling me about Pharoah Rebirth+, one of the best indie games I've played in quite a while. Imagine Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, except set in Egypt and with seven stages instead of SOTN's massive playfield. And oh yeah, the hero is a rabbit with a pair of shape-shifting ears. The game was seven dollars during Steam's summer sale, but it's well worth the cost even at its usual asking price of ten. Also, it's in 2D, so it really ought to stick in the craw of whoever was writing those crap Next Generation reviews.

EDIT: It was actually HG101 contributor Federico Tiraboschi who wrote that Pharaoh Rebirth+ article, although it was technically Kurt who first told me about it. (Nice save, Jess. Heh.) 

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