Thursday, February 6, 2014


I know, I promised this would strictly be a gaming blog, but you'll grant me this one indulgence. Earlier today, I went to McDonald's and asked for the usual Big Mac, Coke, and fries, along with a hot mustard sauce I could use as a dip. I was flatly told that they had no hot mustard, and that there never will be hot mustard again.


I let it go when these McMorons replaced the scrumptious McDonaldland cookies with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies that taste like bitter ash in my mouth. I even was willing to look the other way when they replaced characters like Grimace and the Big Mac (which helped define my disconcertingly fat childhood) with Klasky-Csupo rejects like that stupid ravenous goat.

Fuck you, goat.
(image courtesy of EatDrinkPolitics)
But this... this is way beyond my capacity to forgive. Do you fry-slinging fools realize how much better hot mustard sauce made nearly everything on your menu? I dipped my fries it, slathered it on my Big Macs... hell, I would have dived into it like Scrooge McDuck if I had enough to spare. All that's gone now, because you've dropped a product that was on your menu for THIRTY YEARS!!! Are you that committed to keeping flavor out of the McDonald's experience? Hell, while you're at it you might as well just cut out the middle man and hand each customer a glucose bag and a syringe of fat they can inject directly into their ASSES!

Seriously! ARRRGH!!!

I'll make a video game post later, I swear. Right now I'm grieving.

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