The Atlus Workout

A few weeks ago, blogger and Japanese pop culture aficionado Apricot Sushi declared April to be Atlus Game-Along Month, a time for players to get re-acquainted with a few of their favorite titles from the niche Japanese game publisher. Now I realize that any random schlub can declare April the month of anything they damn well please (and here's proof!), but Apri-soosh seems like a good kid, and it wouldn't kill me to spend a little quality time with some of the Atlus games in my collection. There was just one problem, though...

What Atlus games?

If you think this is hard to look at, you should
see it on the actual hardware.
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

See, Atlus caters to a very specific audience, the RPG-loving otaku, and I left my weeaboo days behind in the late 1990s. For many years, the only experience I had with the company's signature series, Shin Megami Tensei, was a few minutes with the ill-considered Virtual Boy title Jack Bros. Some introduction, huh? Even after that, I didn't think of Shin Megami Tensei as a role-playing epic with a focus on Japanese culture and Eastern mythology, but rather that game with the dick rickshaw in it. (I'll spare you the pictures; chances are you've already seen them. Then screamed yourself hoarse.)

However, after leafing through my games, I came to the conclusion that Atlus had a stronger presence in my collection than I realized. Those remakes of Double Dragon and River City Ransom on the Game Boy Advance? Both published by Atlus, along with a handful of other Million/Technos games I intend to buy in the future. The King of Fighters XIII for the Xbox 360? That was published by Atlus in the United States as well... and so was King of Fighters EX 2: Howling Blood, released some years earlier for the Game Boy Advance. 

I've seen some things, man.
And also some stuff.
(Image courtesy of
CrunchyRoll)

The company was also responsible for Touch Detective 2 1/2 and Trauma Center: Under the Knife, both for the Nintendo DS. I've owned Trauma Center for years now (and was stonewalled by the GUILT virus shortly after I bought it... who thought practicing medicine would be this hard?), but the latter game I downloaded free for my Android tablet. I didn't make much progress in that, either... I find the obtuse puzzles, liberated from anything resembling logic or reason, hugely off-putting. The same could be said of the creepy moon-eyed lead character, who must have also seen that rickshaw.

Then there's Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzonoha vs. The Soulless Army. I picked that one up in the late 2000s to dip my toe into the waters of the Shin Megami Tensei series, thinking that its blend of action and adventure would be more palatable to me than the straight role-playing of other Megaten titles. I didn't make it very far, and after revisiting it I understand why. Like early entries in the Resident Evil series, the characters are polygonal but the backgrounds are still images, resulting in a jarring transition when Raidou moves from one screen to the next. It's disorienting, and leaves the game feeling dated. That may have been easier to tolerate when Devil Summoner was released in 2006, but I've gotten a little spoiled by crisp playfields rendered on the fly, which have become commonplace in the eight years since.

...says the talking cat.
(Image courtesy of GamesRadar)

Both the plot and combat seem to have promise, though. Devil Summoner is a period piece, taking place in the early 20th century. The magic and myths of ancient Japan are being left behind in favor of a more modernized country... but Japan's yokai aren't ready for retirement just yet! These bizarre creatures are hidden throughout the sepia-toned city, waiting to leap for the throats of unsuspecting heroes. 

That's where the combat comes in, which feels like a more sedate version of the battles from the Devil May Cry series. Raidou is armed with both a sword and a pistol, and can swap between the two on the fly. Pressing a trigger button lets Raidou summon a monster of his own to fight alongside him. Monsters can be paralyzed with ammo they're weak against, then scooped up into a glowstick for later use, giving the game a slight Pokemon aftertaste. The collection aspect is likely what will keep me coming back to Devil Summoner even after I get annoyed with the static backgrounds and the repetitive action.

The apparent result of a tryst between
Humpty Dumpty, Bozo the Clown, and a plush
toy found in the free bin of a yard sale.
(Image courtesy of Mojo Interactive)

Finally, there's Persona 4 Arena, which I've just barely touched. Truth told, there are a lot of fighting games on the Xbox 360 I like better, including the surprisingly awesome Mortal Kombat reboot and Darkstalkers Resurrection, a rock-solid port of the last two games in the underappreciated Darkstalkers series. Nevertheless, it cost me ten dollars, and I'd hate to think that I wasted that sawbuck. Maybe I can find the appeal of this one with a little persistence...

Leggo My Logo

We interrupt this extended hiatus for an important announcement. Atlus, the preferred game development house for hipsters with an unhealthy Japanese fixation, recently changed its logo. (Well, it happened a month ago, but I recently found out about it.) You may remember the original design looking something like this:

But shortly after the company's acquisition by Sega, its logo was dipped into a bubbling vat of 21st century minimalism, and came out looking like this:

Oh, the humanity! The Atlus logo has gone from sleek, dynamic, and imaginative to something you might find on a box of store brand laundry detergent. If you were worried that Sega's purchase of the company was going to suck all the personality out of Atlus, well, the new logo suggests that they've taken that first step in the journey toward Blandsville.

But hey, since we're talking about iconic corporate logos being shoved into the shareware font machine and coming out looking like last night's taco salad, let's try that with Sega's own calling card. Hey, they've been using it for thirty years now. It's about due for a revamp, right?

There, much better! No need to thank me, Sega. Just cut me a check and send me all those unsold copies of Panzer Dragoon Saga I know you've got hidden in a warehouse somewhere.

World's Smallest Violin

In an interview with GameSpot, Microsoft's executive frat boy Phil Spencer said that he was "personally hurt" by the chilly reception to the original, hellspawned Xbox One design, and that Microsoft didn't do a great job of communicating the value of its features. You know, features like a camera that's always watching you even when the system is "off," and games so full of DRM that you couldn't play them without daily permission from Microsoft headquarters. 

I don't know what's more galling about Spencer's response to the complaints about the original Xbox One... the fact that Microsoft still thinks its mountain of anti-consumer features was a good idea, or that he's using guilt to manipulate players into grudgingly accepting them. Oh wait, it's definitely the last one. I mean, look at this doucher!

Is this a face that inspires sympathy? No, it's the face attached to the hands that pulled your underwear over your head in high school. I wouldn't give this man a dime even if the original Xbox One design hadn't been conceived in the bowels of hell.

I'll be honest, I can't think of too many reasons to buy any of the latest consoles. My Wii U is working on its third coat of dust, and I can't imagine any video games on either the Xbox One or the Playstation 4 that wouldn't work on their predecessors with only a modest visual hit. A recent Games Radar article declared in its headline that "Titanfall on Xbox 360 looks perfectly fine," which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone familiar with the system's still impressive capabilities. 

The fact is, the new wave of game consoles have got a long, long way to go before they can live up to the legacy of their ancestors. The Xbox 360 has nearly a decade of great games under its belt, with only the earlier ones showing their age. The Xbox One has... uh, Killer Instinct. No sale.

Since I'm kicking Microsoft in the teeth, I might as well finish this post by sharing a comic I found on Tumblr, drawn by Mike J. Larson. It's dated now, but just remember this was what Microsoft had in mind for the Xbox One. They'll likely try it again in the next console cycle, if Spencer's unrepentant, "you don't understand my genius" attitude is any indication.

A Loser is Us: Fire Pro's Masato Masuda Dies

Back in the 1990s, there was a fierce rivalry between two American wrestling leagues, as well as the two developers contracted to make games for them. Some players pledged their allegiance to Yuke's and its WWE series, while others cast their lot with AKI Corporation, creators of the WCW/NWO games. However, a few especially dedicated wrestling fans refused to take a side in this battle, and instead declared their loyalty to the Fire Pro Wrestling series.

Six Man Scramble on the Sega Saturn, the
game that put Fire Pro Wrestling on the map.
(image courtesy of Terrible Pain)

Originally designed as a spiritual successor to the quirky but strangely entertaining NES game Pro Wrestling, Fire Pro had blossomed into an incredibly comprehensive simulation of the sport by the late 1990s, when Six Man Scramble was released for the Sega Saturn. The game didn't have the big names or the polished graphics of its better-known competitors, but it did offer almost limitless variety in its create-a-wrestler mode, as well as gameplay that was incredibly deep yet surprisingly approachable. If Yuke's and AKI's respective games were like front row tickets to Wrestlemania, Fire Pro Wrestling was more akin to a backstage pass at a mid-level event... perhaps not as flashy, but ultimately more satisfying.

It's with a heavy heart that I report that Masato Masuda, the creator of this cult classic, died of undisclosed causes at the age of 48. The news was revealed by Goichi Suda, a former co-worker who went on to achieve fame as the creator of stylish action titles like No More Heroes and Killer is Dead. On his Twitter page, Suda stated, "I genuinely pray for his happiness in the next world. He was one of the greatest creators of video games and he was my direct teacher. Thank you for giving us our favorite Fire Pro Wrestling. You are the god of it."

Personally, I wasn't always crazy about Fire Pro Wrestling. My first taste of the game was the dreadful Sega Genesis release Fire Pro Gaiden, which I'd found at a game rental store in Southern Michigan where I spent an unhealthy chunk of my teenage years. However, as the series improved and started to find its audience, I gave it another chance, picking up a used copy of Fire Pro Wrestling for my original Game Boy Advance at the turn of the century. It quickly turned me into a fan as well... I spent countless hours hunched over the Game Boy's tiny, light-deprived screen, making my own wrestlers and bending their spines in the ring.

Not long after, I purchased Fire Pro D for the Dreamcast and the series' swan song, Fire Pro Wrestling Returns on the Playstation 2. (Yes, there was a Fire Pro game released later on the Xbox Live Arcade service. I don't like to talk about it.) I honestly didn't enjoy Fire Pro D much thanks to the unforgiving timing for grapples, but Fire Pro Wrestling Returns quickly turned into a classic with the download of a save game packed with familiar fighters. Hulk Hogan! Macho Man Randy Savage! Sting in both his pre and post-goth phases! Uh, Hard Gay? Well, he must have been popular somewhere, anyway. I was nearly as fond of Fire Pro R as the earlier handheld game, and was crushed when I discovered that Amazon was selling it for just five dollars shortly after its release. (I suspect that it's going for far more on eBay seven years later. It's the curse of the underground hit, I suppose.)

For shame, Playstation 2 owners... for shame!

If you haven't played Fire Pro Wrestling yet, now is as good a time as any. The Game Boy Advance version is a pretty good starting point, although you can choose nearly anything in the series from 1996 on and have a lot of fun with it. (No, not Iron Slam '96. Not Blazing Tornado either.) And while you're sending your opponent's head into the canvas, put the game on pause, snap into your favorite spiced meat by-product, and remember who made it all possible. Thanks for everything, Mr. Masuda.

Special thanks to USGamer for the Goichi Suda quote.

Milon's Secrets Revealed!

I was digging through some of my old notebooks, and found this gem hidden in the back of one of them...

The real secret is why it says "Garland?" on the top of this page.

This, of course, is the map for Milon's Secret Castle on the NES, complete with the locations of every item, the prices for each one, the seven bonus stages, and even the instruments you'll earn by completing them. I couldn't tell you exactly when I drew this; I suspect that it was somewhere between 1988, when I first got a Nintendo Entertainment System, and 1993, which was when I drew the rest of the artwork in the notebook. We'll split the difference and say this was from... 1990.

My most vivid (if not fond) memory of Milon's Secret Castle was playing it for three straight hours, since the game didn't have any battery saves or even a password feature. Even continuing was needlessly difficult, requiring an arcane combination of buttons. I was determined to beat it, though, and sat in a leather recliner for a large part of a sweltering afternoon, collecting all the items, making notes of where they were hidden, and rescuing the princess after killing the two pretenders to her throne. By the time I was done, I had to peel myself out of the chair, a challenge in itself.

It's funny looking back at Milon's Secret Castle in hindsight. In 1989, it seemed like a decent enough title; unpolished and obtuse in that grand NES tradition, but at least worth the rental. However, the internet was not nearly as kind in its assessment of the game. It's generally regarded as terrible on the Talking Time forums, and that sentiment is echoed in the majority of reviews on GameFAQs. In the game's defense... well, it's pretty hard to defend when compared to the more endearing and accessible Super NES sequel, Do-Re-Mi Fantasy. Still, there's a great deal of content in Milon's Secret Castle, with tons of stages and over a dozen hidden items. I can't say I'm chomping at the bit to return to it after twenty-odd years, but I might take a stab at the more player-friendly port of Milon's Secret Castle on the original GameBoy.

Well, maybe some day.

Awaiting Instructions: Yoshi's Island for the Game Boy Advance

As you may know (and if you don't, you will soon!), I had an operation a couple of weeks ago to deal with some serious digestive issues. I had to spend a week at the hospital to recover from the surgery, and decided that this downtime would be a perfect chance to get reacquainted with my Game Boy Advance. I purchased a handful of games on eBay in preparation for my week long vacation, including this one:

Sadly, Yoshi's Island didn't arrive in time... I had to make do with the original Super Mario World, along with a dozen other games already in my collection. (Gee, poor me!) That's fine, though, because this not only gave me a chance to work my way through Mario's first Super NES adventure, but it gave me something to look forward to when I returned home.

As it turns out, there was a lot I had to look forward to! The cartridge included two welcome surprises, including Mario vs. Donkey Kong (best described as a sequel to Donkey Kong '94 on the original Game Boy) and the Yoshi's Island instruction manual. Game Boy Advance games were shipped in flimsy cardboard boxes, so the boxes and manuals can be hard to come by. I thought I'd share my good fortune with the rest of you by posting a few pages from the manual right here. By the way, any resemblance this has to The Gay Gamer's Manual Stimulation series is purely coincidental. (Yeah, right.)

By now, you're probably already familiar with the story of Yoshi's Island. Turtle magician Kamek looks into his crystal ball and discovers that Mario will eventually be a major pain in the Koopa kingdom's collective keister, so he sends his lackeys to kidnap the child and his twin brother Luigi. Fortunately, a herd of wild Yoshis intervenes, rescuing the tyke before Kamek can get his hands on him. Now it's up to the Yoshis to free baby Luigi from Kamek's clutches and set time on its proper course.

You'll notice that Kamek is computer rendered in these pictures, which hints at Nintendo's original plans for Yoshi's Island. CGI was hot at the time thanks to films like Jurassic Park, and Nintendo wanted to capitalize on it by giving the game the same plastic sheen that defined the Donkey Kong Country games. Lead developer Shigeru Miyamoto detested the idea, and deliberately gave the game a childish, hand-drawn look to spite his corporate masters. Fortunately, that act of defiance paid off... Yoshi's Island is still considered a classic twenty years later, while many of its contemporaries that hopped aboard the CGI train were quickly forgotten. (Ask Sega how well Sonic 3D Blast or Vectorman worked out for them.)

Here's the control scheme for Yoshi's Island, which is... a bit of a handful if you're used to previous Mario games. Yoshi plays a lot differently than he did in Super Mario World, with a "flutter jump" that lets him briefly bend the laws of gravity and the ability to fling eggs at his enemies. I've always had trouble aiming eggs; the way the cursor turns on an axis always leaves me feeling like I'm not in complete control of my shots.

Ah yes, the famous Baby Mario scream. He starts crying when he's been knocked off Yoshi's back, which is an understandable reaction but nevertheless rubs most players the wrong way. I'd argue that Mario's squeals aren't any more irritating than Charles Martinet's cries of "Oh! Mama Mia!" in the previous Super Mario Advance games, but whatever.

All of these new abilities make Yoshi's Island a little intimidating to newcomers. I never really understood why Yoshi transforms into different vehicles, aside from giving Nintendo the chance to show off some nifty morphing effects. Also, you've got to ask yourself, "What's stopping Kamek from snatching Baby Mario while Yoshi is out joyriding as a helicopter?" Man, I just don't get it.

Also included on the cartridge, as was the case with every other Super Mario Advance game, is a loose conversion of the original Mario Bros. that's entertaining for maybe ten minutes. Why did Nintendo insist on putting this in four (wait, was it in Mario and Luigi as well? Make that five) different cartridges? You'd think people would have been plenty sick of it after playing it once. Anyway, it's here, and ready for you if you find yourself having too much fun with Yoshi's Island.

I can't think of anything else worth sharing from the Yoshi's Island instruction booklet, so here's a couple of fake advertisements from Valiant's Super Mario Bros. comic to round things out. This is a parody of the cola wars that raged in the 1980s. Bowser's hard sell (Koopa Kola or a painful death? Let me think about that for a while...) is really not much different from what Pepsi did with its Pepsi challenge, asking people to choose between their cola and a flat, warm glass of the competition.

And here's an ad for the similarly "appealing" Koopatone sunscreen. Evidently Bowser's got tanlines, even though this is the first time I've ever seen him in speedos. (Must be a bitch getting those on with that shell in the way.)

Judging from the single issue I've got, the Valiant Super Mario Bros. comic is a pretty good read... unfathomably corny, yes, but it does a better job of fleshing out the characters than Nintendo usually does. One of the stories in this issue has Wendy O. Koopa violently spurning the affections of a lovesick fish, and I honestly can't imagine her doing anything else.

Convalescing in Style: A Week at the Hospital with the Game Boy Advance

Welcome back to the land of the living! I've returned from my latest surgery, and I'm happy to say there were no major complications.  However, I'm less thrilled with the foot long trail of metal staples cascading down my stomach. Confession time: I have a tough time dealing with physical imperfections. Like, Seinfeld with his latest date tough. If someone's got a blemish or some other unusual feature, my eyes instantly snap to it. (It's not an endearing trait, but it is what it is.) Now I've got a zipper down the front of me that makes me look like a cast-off Godzilla monster, and it takes every ounce of my will to keep my eyes from it. Somewhere, Rod Serling is flashing a wicked smile as a camera slowly pans into the heavens...

Anyway. When I went to Grand Rapids for my (horrible, disfiguring) surgery, I had the foresight to take along my trusty Game Boy Micro and a stack of my favorite titles. Bryan Ochalla declared this to be the year of the Game Boy- the original white brick from the early 1990s- but in my opinion, it's the system's high-tech successor that deserves all the praise. Come on, it's got a huge library of Super NES quality (and beyond) games and the form factor of a Milky Way bar. Is it even possible to make a better handheld game system? No, of course it isn't. If you tried, the universe would collapse under the weight of all that awesome. It's a scientific fact. Just ask Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

"I've got better things to do than get involved in this stupid fight. Also, is that a zipper on your stomach?"

Shut up, Neil.

Here's a few of the games I was playing while recovering from my surgery. You'll learn pretty quickly about my gaming preferences from these short reviews, and you'll also notice how uncannily the Game Boy Advance caters to my personal tastes. I swear, there couldn't be a better game system for me if I had designed the thing myself!

King of Fighters EX 2: Howling Blood

Loosely based on the Neo-Geo game King of Fighters 2000, Howling Blood is very nearly the best fighting game on the Game Boy Advance and very definitely the best title SNK made for the system. 

(If you want to split hairs, this actually wasn't developed by SNK, but its successor Playmore, during that awkward time in the early 2000s when heartless pachinko giant Aruze had driven the company into bankruptcy and left it on the side of the road to die. But, uh, let's not open that wound right now.)

You may recall that the first King of Fighters EX was designed by Artoon, best known for the second most obnoxious bobcat in a video game. You might also remember that the game was horrendous, a pale imitation of the underrated King of Fighters '99. Luckily, Playmore learned from its mistakes and hired Sun-Tec to design the sequel, and that decision paid huge dividends.

Where do I begin? The graphics are stunning by handheld standards, with meaty characters brawling in such locations as a sand-swept desert and an aquarium. The heroes are all armed with their favorite attacks from the Neo-Geo games, and they all spill out from your thumb and onto the screen with little difficulty. Even the sound's not too shabby, although the metallic voices and wimpy hit effects take some of the impact out of each fight.

King of Fighters EX 2 comes out a little bruised in a direct comparison to King of Fighters 2000, and it's a royal pain in the posterior to unlock the "Master Orochi" modes for each character, but it's still a worthwhile fighter as long as you temper your expectations. Its only honest competition on the Game Boy Advance is Street Fighter Alpha 3, and you'd be wise to own them both if you're a fan of this genre.

Pac-Man Collection

Mass Media guffed up the Dreamcast version of Namco Museum pretty badly... shrinky dink characters and an appalling lack of features were the norm in that collection. However, the world discovered that on the more modest Game Boy Advance hardware, they really could do the Pac-Man. (Justice, I mean.)

Pac-Man Collection includes four games on one cartridge. All of them are commendable conversions of the arcade and console originals, but Pac-Attack is a boilerplate puzzle game without much lasting replay value, and Pac-Mania is an early experiment in computer rendering that fizzles out in a hurry once the novelty of the graphics wears off.

The real fun's in Pac-Man and Pac-Man Arrangement. Pac-Man is a razor-sharp conversion of the classic arcade game, and in the scroll mode, the graphics are identical to the original... not sort of similar like they were in Namco Museum for the Dreamcast. Pac-Man Arrangement could very easily have been released on its own cartridge; it's a brilliant late 90's update that's just bursting with life. Dots happily bounce on the playfield, eagerly waiting for you to gobble them up, and a new monster named "Kinky" turns the gameplay on its head, fusing with the other ghosts to create more dangerous hybrids. There are power-ups and speed-boosting arrows and new fruits and all kinds of tweaks to the action to keep it fresh and exciting. Sure, Namco Museum on the Game Boy Advance has a wider variety of games and Ms. Pac-Man, but it doesn't have this.

Super Mario Advance: Super Mario World

I made damned good and sure I had a copy of Super Mario World before I headed out to Grand Rapids for my surgery. After all, it was one of my all-time favorites on the Super NES, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend the week recovering than to plant Mario's big brown workboot in the butts of Bowser and his seven (recently disowned... what the hell, Miyamoto?) children.

I loved Super Mario World when I first played it on a demo kiosk at Wal-Mart back in 1991. I loved it when I first bought my own Super NES and got the game (in the same cartridge with Super Mario All-Stars!) six years later. It's no big surprise that I still love Super Mario World now, although it's gotten easier to notice the tattered edges. It's one of the blander Mario experiences, far removed from the rampant creativity of Super Mario Bros. 3, and it doesn't deliver the impact that a 16-bit game (especially a Super NES launch title!) should. It's like the designers sharpened up the resolution from the NES games, threw in some whoop-de-doo Mode 7 effects, and called it a day.

All that said, Super Mario World has some of the best level design in the series, with devious puzzles and stages that frequently let Mario explore freely in all directions. And while the fights against the Koopalings are kind of lackluster (pushing Iggy off a tilting bridge suspended over lava is a trying experience), that last battle against Bowser and his clown copter is the stuff of legends, using the system's scaling and rotation in a way that's both exciting and earnest. It just feels right, which is something that can't always be said about the Mode 7 in Super NES games.

The Game Boy Advance version of Super Mario World is mostly intact, aside from some shrill notes in the soundtrack and Charles Martinet's grating portrayal of Mario. These voice clips are not "just what I needed," and shame on Nintendo for forcing players to suffer through them. Also, the smaller screen of the Game Boy Advance forces the player to either use the L button to adjust the camera or take uncomfortable leaps of faith to progress. I almost feel like I deserve bonus bragging rights for beating this one, but I can't say I regret my time with it.

Ninja Five-0

The running theme for this game is "tough." This obscure Konami release, a pastiche of side-scrolling action titles like Rolling Thunder, Shinobi, and Bionic Commando, is a tough game to beat, but the challenge doesn't end there. It's also a tough game to find and a tough game to afford thanks to its extreme rarity. Konami didn't release many copies of Ninja Five-0 in the United States, making it a holy grail in the Game Boy Advance collection. If you own a copy, cherish it. If you don't, sell a few pints of blood so you can get a copy for yourself.

Anyway, Ninja Five-0 is a rescue mission set across a series of brilliantly designed levels. You'll sneak through warehouses and factories, freeing hostages from the clutches of gunmen, steadily wearing down the defenses of samurai cyborgs, and gracefully swinging over pits of spikes with your hook and chain. Alternately, you might kill a hostage with a mistimed shuriken toss, get fried to a crisp by one of the samurai's firebombs, or take a header into that pit of spikes. Ninja Five-0 is one of those rare games that will make you look masterfully skilled when you do well... and a total klutz when you screw up.

Fire Pro Wrestling

My first taste of this series, Fire Pro Gaiden on the Sega Genesis, was not a flattering one. However, the developers at Human Entertainment (now Spike-Chunsoft) whipped Fire Pro into shape on the Sega Saturn, and it's been the king of console wrestling games ever since. Sure, other titles might be endorsed by classic wrestlers like Dwayne "The Tooth Fairy" Johnson and Hulk "I'll put on my tutu" Hogan, but only Fire Pro delivers with some of the deepest, most customizable, and just plain fun action you'll find in the genre. The outcome of grapples is determined with careful timing, not mad button smashing, and there are plenty of attacks available to you once you've softened up your opponent. You can whip them into the ropes, get the drop on them from a turnbuckle, or even mount their chests and lay into them with a merciless flurry of punches.

The action is authentic to the last detail (focus your strikes on a weak spot and your opponent will start gushing blood, to the horror of the audience) and all the pageantry of the sport is here, from the flashy fighter introductions to driving chiptunes that keep each match nail-bitingly tense. Sure, the graphics aren't fantastic- Fire Pro's always been one step behind the competition in that department- and there's no representation from real-life wrestlers, but it's not like you're going to have a hard time figuring out who Axe Duggan and "Slim" Jim Mr. Mann are supposed to be.

Atari Anniversary Advance

"Have you played Atari today?" With this cartridge and a Game Boy Micro in your pocket, you can always be sure the answer is "yes." Atari Anniversary Advance includes six of Atari's best-known arcade games, hits like Centipede, Tempest, and Asteroids which were brought to the small screen with the magic of "meta-emulation." The developers at Digital Eclipse (now Code Mystics) emulated the logic of the arcade games while having the Game Boy Advance handle the graphics and sound natively, resulting in conversions that are unbelievably close to the originals.

The only sticking point is that the games, in that grand Atari tradition, are kind of dated. Centipede is as good as it ever was (flip your Micro sideways, tap the select button, and prepare to be blown away), but Asteroids is in black and white, and without a dial, the simplistic Super Breakout doesn't hold much interest. Battlezone and Tempest are more cutting edge with their striking color vector graphics, but Battlezone's always been sluggish, and the slightly chunky frame rate of Tempest suggests that the game may have been just beyond the Game Boy Advance's reach. Nevertheless, Atari Anniversary Advance is a satisfying collection for the oldest of old-school gamers.